Hear me quickly Lord
For my mind soon wanders to other things
I am more familiar with
And more concerned about
Than I am with you.
Words will not do, Lord
Listen to my tears,
For I have lost much and fear more.
Listen to my sweat,
For I wake at night,
Overwhelmed by darkness and strange dreams.
Listen to my sighs,
For my longing surges like the sea
Urgent, mysterious, beckoning
Listen to my growling gut,
For I hunger for bread and intimacy.
Listen to my curses,
For I am angry at the way the world
Comes down on me sometimes
And I sometimes on it.
Listen to my crackling knuckles,
For I hold very tightly to myself
And anxiously squeeze myself
Into others’ expectations
And them into mine,
And then shake my fists at you for disappointing me.
Listen to my footfalls,
For I stumble to bring good tidings to someone
Listen to my groans,
For I ache towards healing
Listen to my worried weariness,
For my work matters much to me
And needs help
Listen to my tension,
For I ache toward accepting who I am
And who I cannot be
Listen to my hunched back,
For sometimes I can’t bear
The needs and demands of the world anymore
And want to put it down,
Give it back to you
Listen to my laughter,
For there are friends
And mercy
And something urges me to thank
Listen to my humming,
For sometimes I catch all unaware
The rhythms of creation
And then music without words
Rises in me to meet it,
And there is the joy of romping children and dancing angels
Listen to my blinking eyes,
For at certain moments
When sunlight strikes just right,
Or stars pierce the darkness just enough,
Or clonds roll around just so,
Or snow kisses the world into quietness,
Everything is suddenly transparent…
And something in me is pure enough
For an instant
To see your kingdom in a glance,
And so to praise you in a gasp
Quick,
Then gone,
….But it is enough
Listen to me quickly Lord.
(Ted Loder, Guerrillas of Grace)
Friday, August 20, 2010
Wednesday, August 11, 2010
Who is my husband?
I'm a son of a good man
I'm the child of an angel
I'm the brother of a wild one
and I'm looking for direction
I'm the lover of a beauty
I'm the father of blessings
I'm a singer of a love song
But is that all I'm good for
This is who I am
So take me and make me something so much more
This is who I am
So change me and make me someone better than before
I'm a saint and a sinner
I'm a lover and a fighter
I'm a true believer with great desire
I'm a preacher of grace, prophet of love, teacher of truth
I've fallen so many times
But here I stand in front of you
But please don't leave me that way
'casuse I know that you can make me better than I am today
(Third Day - Revelation CD "This is who I am")
I'm the child of an angel
I'm the brother of a wild one
and I'm looking for direction
I'm the lover of a beauty
I'm the father of blessings
I'm a singer of a love song
But is that all I'm good for
This is who I am
So take me and make me something so much more
This is who I am
So change me and make me someone better than before
I'm a saint and a sinner
I'm a lover and a fighter
I'm a true believer with great desire
I'm a preacher of grace, prophet of love, teacher of truth
I've fallen so many times
But here I stand in front of you
But please don't leave me that way
'casuse I know that you can make me better than I am today
(Third Day - Revelation CD "This is who I am")
Monday, August 2, 2010
Sermon notes and Buck's class notes
Causes of Heart Trouble:
Guilt: I owe you
Anger: you owe me
Greed: I owe me
Jealousy: God owes me---Sermon from Pastor Kevin Sunday Aug 1st
Morsels from Buck's class Sunday Aug 1st:
“Anyone can count the seeds in an apple, but only God can count the apples in a seed” ..Carol brought to class
U R the seed that decides the harvest around U
Words R seeds 4 feeling Forgiveness is seed 4 relationship
Honor is seed 4 access. Gratitude is the seed 4 more
The bible is the seed 2 territory Listening is the seed 2 learning Knowledge is the seed 2 changeBarriers to Listening...JAILES: Jump to conclusions, Assumptions, Interpret what is said, Lying, Evaluate /Judge, Selective listening
Tools for listening...LADDER: Look the person in the eye, Ask questions, Don’t interrupt, Don’t change the subject, Empathize, Respond verbally and non-verbally
We are rabid in our judgement toward each other because we do not realize how much God has forgiven us. Luke 7:47 He who has been forgiven little loves little
Live free and set others free....
Romans 2:1 You have no excuse, you who pass judgement on someone else, for at whatever point you judge the other, you are condemning yourself, because you who pass judgement do the same things.
Romans 6:37 Do not judge, and you will not be judged. Do not condmn, and you will not be confemned. Forgive, and you will be foregiven, Give and it will be given to you. A good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over will be poured into your lap (life). For with the measure you use, it will be measured to you
· Romans 8:15 “For you did not receive a spirit that makes you a slave again to fear..”
Saturday, July 31, 2010
"You've just been erased"
"You've just been erased" I love the one liner and the way that Aaarrrnaold Schwarzenegger says it with his deep voice and Australian accent in the movie "Eraser" He depicts a guy who assists people to obtain a new identity in a witness protection program. New name, new home, new identity...the old gets erased. Every time I hear it in my thoughts...I have to smile.
In the early 80s I accepted an invitation from the King to live with Him in His house, eat with Him, hang out in the palace. He said He would give me a new heart..replace my heart of stone for a heart of flesh. He would give me a new purpose. He said I could have a new identity. He said I could be a princess and a lady ...all the way to my core being. He said I would have a new family...a life. He asked me if He could be my king, my love, my husband forever. I said "yes" (duh..what's not to like?). I came to live in the palace and became one of the Kings "peeps"..His church. I ate fine flour and honey and oil and my maker became my husband...my Boaz..Redeemer. I was translated from the Kingdom of hell to the kingdom of Heaven. I became part of a family with plenty of brothers and sisters....and pastors-caregivers. "You've just been erased"..and with it all the pain. Now the old existence is just a boring bad movie..all things have been made new! The Lord said, I will wash the dried blood off of you and you will "LIVE" and I did!! Ezekiel 16:1-13.
Isaiah 54:5
For your Maker is your Husband--the Lord of hosts is His name--and the Holy One of Israel is your Redeemer; the God of the whole earth He is called.
Isaiah 60
1ARISE [from the depression and prostration in which circumstances have kept you--rise to a new life]! Shine (be radiant with the glory of the Lord), for your light has come, and the glory of the Lord has risen upon you!(A)
Isaiah 61:7 (Amplified Bible)
7Instead of your [former] shame you shall have a twofold recompense; instead of dishonor and reproach [your people] shall rejoice in their portion. Therefore in their land they shall possess double [what they had forfeited]; everlasting joy shall be theirs.
In the early 80s I accepted an invitation from the King to live with Him in His house, eat with Him, hang out in the palace. He said He would give me a new heart..replace my heart of stone for a heart of flesh. He would give me a new purpose. He said I could have a new identity. He said I could be a princess and a lady ...all the way to my core being. He said I would have a new family...a life. He asked me if He could be my king, my love, my husband forever. I said "yes" (duh..what's not to like?). I came to live in the palace and became one of the Kings "peeps"..His church. I ate fine flour and honey and oil and my maker became my husband...my Boaz..Redeemer. I was translated from the Kingdom of hell to the kingdom of Heaven. I became part of a family with plenty of brothers and sisters....and pastors-caregivers. "You've just been erased"..and with it all the pain. Now the old existence is just a boring bad movie..all things have been made new! The Lord said, I will wash the dried blood off of you and you will "LIVE" and I did!! Ezekiel 16:1-13.
Isaiah 54:5
For your Maker is your Husband--the Lord of hosts is His name--and the Holy One of Israel is your Redeemer; the God of the whole earth He is called.
Isaiah 60
1ARISE [from the depression and prostration in which circumstances have kept you--rise to a new life]! Shine (be radiant with the glory of the Lord), for your light has come, and the glory of the Lord has risen upon you!(A)
Isaiah 61:7 (Amplified Bible)
7Instead of your [former] shame you shall have a twofold recompense; instead of dishonor and reproach [your people] shall rejoice in their portion. Therefore in their land they shall possess double [what they had forfeited]; everlasting joy shall be theirs.
Friday, July 30, 2010
Love God and Be Free
Love God and Live Free
You know the feeling..”I’m failing”…”I’m falling”…”I’m losing the fight”. A huge chunk of the foundation of your life is sliding into the ocean like the State of California (or bigger) separating from the continent. You look and see it sinking …and sliding. . It could be a friendship, a marriage of 15 years, your work…title..function, your youth, your health, a son, a daughter, a wife. Slipping slipping..moving..changing. If the present conditions continue, you know it will eventually sink beneath the water’s surface and disappear forever. And you don’t seem to have what it takes to prevent it. You wonder, Where is this thing going? What will the outcome be? What will it look like when I, or we, get to the end of the road..when there is no more road…just water?
Next comes the stress, the sleepless nights, the off and on low grade pain: headaches, backaches, inflammatory responses throughout your body..first here …then there with no real origin or reason followed by a sinking feeling of sadness, oppression…perhaps depression.
Perhaps you are courageous enough to admit to yourself: I don’t have the faith, the strength, the experience, holiness, selflessness, or the wisdom..whatever… to meet the need and change the course. By default you think, If I were emotionally, spiritually, or temperamentally equipped enough, then, somehow I would be able to stop the sand from slipping through my fist.
He stalks us day and night (1 Peter 5:8). Have you ever felt spiritually stalked? What is it made of?…and what are the “hooks” inside of our hearts that permit this “stalking” to latch on to, and then spew the deadly poison into our spiritual / emotional blood steam and take effect against us? We cannot stop the fact that we are stalked. We must accept that as part of life. We are stalked, and we will be stalked. However, we do have a choice not to buy what the enemy is telling and selling. In order for us not to “buy” we must seek God. He will show us the hook and the poison. We have in our hands and hearts the most powerful thing known to man on earth and in heaven: the Word of God and the Holy Spirit. We are able to take action by applying the truth, experience relief from ourselves and be FREE again. We have a choice available for the asking and receiving. “LOVE GOD AND LIVE FREE”
In my own life I have found the “hook” involves pride and the “poison” is legalism, the law, right / wrong, good / bad, judgment….condemnation
1 Corinthians 4
2Moreover, it is [essentially] required of stewards that a man should be found faithful [proving himself worthy of trust].
3But it matters very little to me that I should be put on trial by you [on this point], and that you or any other human tribunal should investigate and question and cross-question me. I do not even put myself on trial and judge myself.
4I am not conscious of anything against myself, and I feel blameless; but I am not vindicated and acquitted before God on that account. It is the Lord [Himself] Who examines and judges me.
5So do not make any hasty or premature judgments before the time when the Lord comes [again], for He will both bring to light the secret things that are [now hidden] in darkness and disclose and expose the [secret] aims (motives and purposes) of hearts. Then every man will receive his [due] commendation from God.
6Now I have applied all this [about parties and factions] to myself and Apollos for your sakes, brethren, so that from what I have said of us [as illustrations], you may learn [to think of men in accordance with Scripture and] not to go beyond that which is written, that none of you may be puffed up and inflated with pride and boast in favor of one [minister and teacher] against another.
7For who separates you from the others [as a faction leader]? [Who makes you superior and sets you apart from another, giving you the preeminence?] What have you that was not given to you? If then you received it [from someone], why do you boast as if you had not received [but had gained it by your own efforts]?
You know the feeling..”I’m failing”…”I’m falling”…”I’m losing the fight”. A huge chunk of the foundation of your life is sliding into the ocean like the State of California (or bigger) separating from the continent. You look and see it sinking …and sliding. . It could be a friendship, a marriage of 15 years, your work…title..function, your youth, your health, a son, a daughter, a wife. Slipping slipping..moving..changing. If the present conditions continue, you know it will eventually sink beneath the water’s surface and disappear forever. And you don’t seem to have what it takes to prevent it. You wonder, Where is this thing going? What will the outcome be? What will it look like when I, or we, get to the end of the road..when there is no more road…just water?
Next comes the stress, the sleepless nights, the off and on low grade pain: headaches, backaches, inflammatory responses throughout your body..first here …then there with no real origin or reason followed by a sinking feeling of sadness, oppression…perhaps depression.
Perhaps you are courageous enough to admit to yourself: I don’t have the faith, the strength, the experience, holiness, selflessness, or the wisdom..whatever… to meet the need and change the course. By default you think, If I were emotionally, spiritually, or temperamentally equipped enough, then, somehow I would be able to stop the sand from slipping through my fist.
He stalks us day and night (1 Peter 5:8). Have you ever felt spiritually stalked? What is it made of?…and what are the “hooks” inside of our hearts that permit this “stalking” to latch on to, and then spew the deadly poison into our spiritual / emotional blood steam and take effect against us? We cannot stop the fact that we are stalked. We must accept that as part of life. We are stalked, and we will be stalked. However, we do have a choice not to buy what the enemy is telling and selling. In order for us not to “buy” we must seek God. He will show us the hook and the poison. We have in our hands and hearts the most powerful thing known to man on earth and in heaven: the Word of God and the Holy Spirit. We are able to take action by applying the truth, experience relief from ourselves and be FREE again. We have a choice available for the asking and receiving. “LOVE GOD AND LIVE FREE”
In my own life I have found the “hook” involves pride and the “poison” is legalism, the law, right / wrong, good / bad, judgment….condemnation
1 Corinthians 4
2Moreover, it is [essentially] required of stewards that a man should be found faithful [proving himself worthy of trust].
3But it matters very little to me that I should be put on trial by you [on this point], and that you or any other human tribunal should investigate and question and cross-question me. I do not even put myself on trial and judge myself.
4I am not conscious of anything against myself, and I feel blameless; but I am not vindicated and acquitted before God on that account. It is the Lord [Himself] Who examines and judges me.
5So do not make any hasty or premature judgments before the time when the Lord comes [again], for He will both bring to light the secret things that are [now hidden] in darkness and disclose and expose the [secret] aims (motives and purposes) of hearts. Then every man will receive his [due] commendation from God.
6Now I have applied all this [about parties and factions] to myself and Apollos for your sakes, brethren, so that from what I have said of us [as illustrations], you may learn [to think of men in accordance with Scripture and] not to go beyond that which is written, that none of you may be puffed up and inflated with pride and boast in favor of one [minister and teacher] against another.
7For who separates you from the others [as a faction leader]? [Who makes you superior and sets you apart from another, giving you the preeminence?] What have you that was not given to you? If then you received it [from someone], why do you boast as if you had not received [but had gained it by your own efforts]?
Thursday, July 29, 2010
I was totally "refreshed" at the get-to-gether last Saturday morning. Perhaps "refreshed" isn't expactly the right word. I think "buzzed" and "energized" are better discriptors. About 15 people were present for the meeting in our colorful and peaceful "H2O" cafe complete with steaming coffee, bagels, fruit etc. Pastor Lisa always does a great job keeping us all on track. The hearts of the people were bright and brilliant..as always. I don't remember all the namesof the people. There were a couple of things shared that warmed my heart so much. There was a woman there who seemed dedicated and passionate bout the Hands of the Lamb ministry..she owed it in her heart..it is a part of her. Then there is Gary who explained that he calls people in his small group every week and prays with them...just another picture of a man with a beautiful heart..one of many in this house. Then there is the woman who cried as she shared about her small group and the impact it has had on her. It is not unusual for at least one person to become publically emotional during a meeting at this church. It is a very deep and powerful experience to have eternal relationships that reach down into the very depth of our soul. We are living in eternity now. Death is only a transition and separation from our flesh. It is comforting to know that our relationships stay in-tact now and after the transition because they are eternal.
Wednesday, July 28, 2010
Today my husband and I were able to spend the early morning sipping coffee and exploring the word of God and what it is doing in our hearts. We were reading John 15...remain on the vine and bear fruit. I asked Jim what he thought God meant by "fruit". He said "when the heart blossoms like a flower"...and he continued to talk about how pruning is needed to allow for fresh heart growth...and cleansing. From there we talked about the quest for "simplicity" in a very complex world. It's like using 3 gulf clubs and perform better on the golf course then carrying a big fancy cart with 14 clubs. From there we talked about "loosening our grip on life". "Do you know"...my husband continued..."if you loosen the grip on your golf club, you can hit the ball further and more accurate...Life is like that".
